


Boom De Yada

by often_adamanta



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mention of Panic Attack, Post-Canon, Swearing, Watney being Watney, by which I mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/often_adamanta/pseuds/often_adamanta
Summary: “Hey, Mark,” she says softly, “Let’s go home.”He blows out a slow, steady breath. “Yeah,” he says, “Okay, yeah.”





	Boom De Yada

“Watney?” Commander Lewis calls out. 

He doesn’t answer or turn away from the view, but Lewis must know where he is because he hears her grab a handhold and ricochet up the short corridor to the viewing room. She stops herself with a hand against the window and then floats gently next to him. 

The earth stretches out before them, the closest they’ve been since Mars and yet still so far away. They’ll have to dock with the space station and take another shuttle to reach the ground, and yet Mark feels like he could touch if he wasn’t safely in this bubble on the _Hermes_. 

“I know I’m not coming back up here,” Mark says into Lewis’ patient silence. “I’m not even sure I _want_ to, but at the same time…” 

He stretches his hand out and runs it along the archipelago that leads to Australia. 

“I’ve been so focused on getting home that I didn’t think about what I’d be giving up,” Mark says. 

Lewis gets a grip on his arm, ostensibly to keep her from floating too far away, but she squeezes and rubs her thumb back and forth in the crease of his elbow. 

“Hey, Mark,” she says softly, “Let’s go home.” 

He blows out a slow, steady breath. “Yeah,” he says, “Okay, yeah.” 

The comms chirp and Martinez’s tiny voice says, “Listen, this is all really touching and everything, but we’re now half an hour behind on docking procedures.” 

Mark laughs and says, “Wow, you pulled the wrong mutiny if you wanted to get home quicker.”

Lewis rolls her eyes and shoves him into the wall, using the momentum to make her way back along the corridor. 

“Spoken like someone who doesn’t have a spouse waiting for them,” Martinez says. 

“You got me there,” Mark says, “Although you know all this talk of approach and re-entry has nothing to do with your dick, right?” 

Lewis voice cuts in over the comms. “Johanssen?” 

“Turning off their comms now, Commander,” Johanssen says. 

“Hey!” Mark says, at the same time Martinez says, “Wait!” but their voices cut off halfway through, Johanssen too fast for them to get in another word. 

Beck appears, floating calmly up from the direction Lewis had gone. “Hi, Mark,” he says, and then doesn’t even ask before he catches Mark’s hand and starts taking his vitals. Mark’s used to it at this point. 

“What’s going on?” Beck says. He puts his hands on Mark’s face and turns his head gently back and forth, making Mark’s eyes move to keep looking at him. 

“I’m fine, I’m not having a panic attack,” Mark says. 

“Okay,” Beck says, but it’s polite doctor noise, not agreement, and Mark fucking knows it. 

“Just… gonna be a lot of people,” Mark mutters, “And Earth, that has, like, the most people.”

“The space station has been warned not to crowd us,” Beck says, “And you’re going to be too out of it to care when we land on Earth.” 

“Great,” Mark replies sarcastically, “Good talk.” He pauses for a beat and then adds, “I really am fine.” 

Beck smiles and lets him go. “Good to hear. You ready to stop hiding, then?” 

“I’m not _hiding_ ,” Mark mutters. He takes one last, long look out at the view and then resolutely pushes off of the window, turning away and floating down toward the control room, Beck a steady presence behind him. 

Johanssen and Vogel are strapped into their chairs. Mark bumps the wall and makes a beeline to over to Johanssen’s chair, wrapping an arm around her and rubbing his fist against her perfectly pulled back hair. 

She shrieks and starts slapping at him. “No noogies when we’re strapped down in the command room!” She yells. “Vogel, tell him!” 

“You’re in violation of the noogie agreement we ratified as a crew,” Vogel agrees without looking away from his station. 

Mark allows her to push him away. She pulls the band out of her hair and runs her fingers through it before twisting it back into a perfect knot. “Did you stow the mice?” Johanssen asks when she notices Beck. 

Beck glides over and seats himself. “Yeah, all packed away,” he says. 

Martinez comes in like a bullet and hits the back of his chair. “Gross,” he says, even though Beck and Johanssen were all business, like they always were during shift. 

“Aww, give the lovebirds a break,” Mark says, “They’re about to have NASA cockblock all their sweet, space lovin’.” 

Beck and Johanssen both wrinkle their noses in disgust, and Mark beams at them, delighted.

“Watney, never say that again,” Lewis says from behind him. She makes a circle of the room and raises a thin eyebrow until Mark has the straps of his chair tightly fastened before taking her own seat. “Docking approach begins in half an hour. In less than twelve hours, we’ll be back on Earth.” 

Martinez makes a quiet sound of glee. 

“Fucking finally,” Mark says with a grin. 

“They’re going to be broadcasting the docking live, Watney,” Lewis says, “Curse again and you’ll also go down in history as the first man to lose his balls in orbit. I’m sure the ISS crew could find some kind of experiment with them, and then they’d be useful.” 

“Maybe with the electron microscope,” Martinez says. 

“Hey,” Mark protests. 

“Yeah, that’s unfair,” Beck agrees with a straight face, but can’t keep the smile off his face as he adds, “Everyone knows shrinkage is a side effect of space travel. It’s not his fault.” 

“HEY,” Mark repeats, louder. 

“Johanssen,” Lewis says, cutting him off. 

“Hailing the space station now, Commander,” she says, but Mark is sitting right next to her and can see her smiling, too. 

Martinez leans away from the back of his chair, pointing and laughing. 

“Suck my Martian dick, Martinez,” Mark whispers. 

There’s a ringing silence, and then an unfamiliar voice crackles over the comms, “...sorry, we didn’t catch that, _Hermes_. Repeat?” 

Beth puts both her hands over her face, shoulders shaking with repressed laughter.

“Sorry, wrong number,” Mark says, grinning, “But hey, we took a wrong turn somewhere. I don’t suppose you could tell us the quickest way back to Earth?”


End file.
